Toastmasters - Topics Master

Why do we do table topics?

To practice impromptu speaking and coming up with an answer quickly to an unexpected question. This can be useful socially or at work.

How do table topics work?

I give a topic then say the name of the person who needs to stand up and talk about it. The time allocated is 1 to 2 mins. So the green light will come on at a minute, the amber at 1 minute 30 seconds and the red at 2 minutes.

So now on to the topics:

This evening I need your help. Part of the dictionary has been lost! It’s the longer version that people don’t normally use all the words in. We found someone who remembered some of the words but none of the meanings. It is very important we have the meaning and usage and history of these words just in case someone wants to look clever. 

I’ve come here because it is a place full of clever linguists, some of you here have agreed to help and gone off and done some research and now you are here to present your findings

They are going to come and tell us about their word when I say the word and call their name. They will cover some of the following:

The meaning of the word

How it came by its meaning (from the latin, come in to common usage on the internet etc)

What research they had to do to find this word

I expect some of them, being so clever, will cover other points too.

I repeated each word several times before naming someone to allow people to have some ideas and remember what the word was.

Ultracrepidarian - One who gives opinions on something beyond his or her knowledge.

Chiasmus - Rhetorical device: Repeating some or all of the words you used in a different order (ask not what your country can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your country)

Callipygous - having a beautiful bottom

Flahoolick - generous with money

Synecdoche - A figure of speech where part is used for the whole (eg more mouths to feed).

Persiflage - Frivolous lighthearted talk

Aeolist - A pompous person, pretending to have inspiration of spiritual insight.

Panglossian - Characterised by or given to extreme optimism, especially in the face of unrelieved hardship or adversity.

Prolix - Of a person given to speaking or writing at great or tedious length. Or of a piece of writing or speech of great, boring, and probably unnecessary length.

Dunandanate - To overuse a word recently added to your vocabulary

Petrichor - The pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell.

Toastmasters - General Evaluator

In each Toastmasters meeting we try to have everyone speak (even if just to introduce yourself as a guest) and then almost everyone is evaluated. There is an evaluator for table topics and one for each of the prepared speeches. There is then a General Evaluator who evaluates the meeting as a whole and all the people with roles who have not been evaluated by someone else.
This means giving general comments on the how the meeting ran (eg did it run on time, were people told how to get out in a fire etc), plus The Toastmaster, The Sergeant at Arms, The President, The Grammarian, The Timekeeper and the other evaluators.
I performed this role for the first time, at my last meeting at Toastmasters for a while at least.
It is quite a tricky role as there are a lot of people to listen to and come up with encouragement and suggestions for. Generally a good pattern for evaluations is commend/recommend/commend and I tried to follow this pattern.
It was a relatively quiet meeting as it was an extra one that had been fitted in where we missed one for the August bank holiday so not everyone was able to attend. Good number of guests though.

These are my notes, I obviously had to make them more coherent, I think I succeeded, but the General Evaluator is not evaluated so I cannot say for sure...

I had a good time at Toastmasters and hope to be back at some point. I had a look but there are no clubs near to us in France :) In French could have been a bit challenging anyway and not sure how I would fit it in with the cycling, yoga, animals, house building schedule anyway.

The certificate here was just for taking part. Toastmasters like certificates and stuff as encouragement. This was a table topics competition and I was RUBBISH - but I still get a certificate, hurrah!

Toastmasters - Table topics - Objects

I did these table topics perhaps 6 weeks ago but forgot to post them until now.

Why do we do table topics?

Impromptu speaking. Useful if someone asks you a question at work or socially. Helps you come up with something and structure it in to something coherent quickly - to avoid that middle of the night - I should have said moment or the incoherent rambling.

Quick review of how it works. 1m to 1m 30s. Lights. 

Now on to the topics themselves

Have any of you given your car a name?

If yes - so have I! I'm so glad it's not just me!

My car has a name, she is called Martha. She is a Nissan Navara 4x4, fitting with her ‘big boned’ build, she is quite stoical and puts up with all kinds of driving, and is mostly a silent but supportive companion. Occasionally she complains when I take corners too fast. She was most upset and had a lot to say recently, when I scraped her bumper against a rock!

This set me to wondering what sort of personalities various other every day objects might have. I am looking for you guys to help me out. I am going to give you an object and I want you to pretend to be that thing and tell me what you think, what you are feeling or about your typical day or whatever.

My first object is a doorknob. So please imagine you are a doorknob and tell me about your life, what you think about, how happy you are, anything you want to share with me really.

New five pound note

An ipad

A tree in Richmond park

A lawn mower

An airplane

Big Ben

A walking stick

A stone on the beach

A seat on the tube

Toastmasters 5 - Your body speaks - Cows have personalities too

Moooo. My name’s Hainoa, I’m a highland cow (said holding stuffed highland cow)

Mr Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and welcome guests. (make stuffed cow look at toastmaster, then from side to side at the other toastmasters and guests)

As you may know Rhoda lives in France at the weekends, on a farm. She recently rehearsed her speech to me, and it was RUBBISH. So I offered to come over and talk to you instead. I’m going to talk about my early life, meeting the father of my children, and becoming a mother for the first time.

I was born in the mountains at the start of winter on a farm with 40 highland cows and 4 bulls. Did you know that a group of highland cows is not called a herd? It’s a fold. My mum is from Scotland and my dad from France, so I am bilingual. 

When I was 9 months old, the farmer, Sebastien, put me in a teeny tiny trailer and took me about 10 miles to my new home. My friend Islay who was moving there too wasn’t old enough to come yet so I went on my own. Sebastien rejected the field Rhoda and Doug had prepared for me because the fence wasn’t going to keep me in. So I moved in with a flock of sheep. Awful creatures who were scared of me and ran off every time I got near. After a couple of days of this I had had enough and jumped over the fence, I am surprisingly athletic you know, and went in search of the neighbours cow herd. Trit trot trit trot. They found me a little bit odd and hairy and they thought that girls don’t have horns before they met me, but they were nice enough. Doug and Rhoda seemed keen that I was happy settled in and eventually Islay arrived and two Jersey cows called Buttercup and Bluebell. At this point it became a slightly acceptable place to live. So I stopped escaping all the time. Rhoda did also give me a serious talking too about how embarrassing it was having to come and get me from one neighbour or the other and be shown up by my complete lack of leading skills when all the neighbours cows just did what they were told.

My friends Buttercup and Bluebell had some really really cute calves and when I was 3 I was finally old enough to have one myself. Highlands are much slower growing than Jerseys, Bluebell had her first calf at 18 months. Rhoda and Doug decided taking me back to the farm I came from to see a bull was the best way. Artificial insemination being the alternative, but I am not keen on strangers and my horns are 2 feet long and when I am scared I like to throw my head high in the air to make myself look bigger and high step around like a nutter. For some reason this puts people off. I wasn’t mad keen on the horse box and when Rhoda decided tennis balls on the end of my horns to protect the walls was a good idea, I objected most strenuously. Eventually I decided they were more persistent than me and I had better submit, plus calves are cute right? Aand this was clearly going to be a good opportunity to show them up once we got there. I did this by firing out of the horse box at high velocity and storming crazily through several fences to get to Capi my new lover and the rest of his fold. Initially I found so many cows a bit intense and went and stood in the middle of a woods on a steep steep slope for several days where Sebastien (the farmer if you remember - or Coo man as Rhoda calls him) couldn’t get me haha. Capi persuaded me out, so it all ended happily and I returned home pregnant.

We gestate for 9 months, but it was hard for anyone to know exactly when I got pregnant, or indeed if I really was. So in the final month Rhoda and Doug spent a lot of time starting at my belly speculating about whether it looked bigger or not. We cows have a lot of gas and the size of our bellies varies a lot according to that. There are other telltale signs with some ligaments shifting so the calf can get out and our udders start to fill up a bit before the calf is born, so they also spent a lot of time staring at my rear end. Udder growth is much more distinct on Jersey cows as they produce a lot more milk. We have been bred to survive the cold and predators of Scotland and they have been bred to produce a lot of milk. Rhoda was convinced up to the last moment that I wasn’t really pregnant, but fortunately I somehow knew what to do when the time came and I found a quiet spot and had the calf while Doug and Rhoda weren’t looking. Because of the Scottish predator thing we highlands are very protective mothers, so though I am very fond of Rhoda and Doug I didn’t want them near my precious baby. They told me that they just wanted to put fly spray on him to protect him from being eaten alive by maggots but I KNEW they wanted to see whether he was a boy so they could consider castrating him. In the event you will be delighted to hear that he is an unusual colour so will hopefully go on to be a stud rather than beef like Buttercups baby Roast Beef. Now a few weeks later I am getting used to the whole thing and even let them milk me a bit. Highland milk is nice and creamy, though we don’t have much to spare from our calves. When they calf Buttercup and Bluebell have to be milked every day for months, it looks boring and no fun at all. 

So, now that you have heard a bit about me and my life, I hope that next time you see a cow in a field you will remember cows have personalities too, we may sometimes look a bit boring just standing there in a field chewing cud and farting, but mostly we are cute and funny and clever just like me! Moo!

Toastmasters 4 - How to say it - Life in the Country

The purpose of the 4th Toastmasters speech is described here.

I took this photo half an hours drive from my house and you can see this mountain from my front door. (I had the photo printed on canvas - not for the speech just to have on the wall but was convenient to use)

Mr Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and most welcome guests
My husband and I bought an old farmhouse in France five years ago. I lived there two years full time and for the past three years I have been living there and working in London 4 days a week while my husband renovates the house.
When I said I was moving to the countryside having lived in cities my whole life, my mum said 'WHY!'. I think why is obvious. Look at the mountains, I can go skiing, horse riding, have a dog, live the dream. But generally things aren't all good and no bad, all up and no down, all high and no low. When people ask about our life in France, I generally tell them about the highs. Which results in them saying 'oh I wish I had your life'. So this is me setting the record straight and talking a bit about what I found hard making such a big move.
First the bugs. Spiders don't bother me, I am not a wimp. House flys are a bit annoying, we never got more than a few in London but the house in France has to be covered all over in fly mesh to keep them out. Much worse than this though are the horse flies - giant things that don't politely slip a straw through your skin like a mosquito, but rather have a huge pair of slashers capable of cutting through a horses skin with which they slice through your clothes with a short sharp shock of pain, it bleeds and the itchy lump can last for weeks. There are even worse things that infest the animals such as blow fly that lay eggs on sheep that hatch and eat the animal alive, various intestinal worms and ones called nose bot which lay eggs in the animals nose. You don't see these things in London.
Second the utilities. The phone and electricity aren't so bad, though we have more problems in storms with the connections failing than in London and we have at times spent nearly a week without internet - oh the horror! The worst thing is the water, we are not on mains so our, admittedly delicious, water comes out as a spring below our house and is pumped up in to the house. This means no water if there is a powercut, no water if the water from the spring fails to flow in to the tank and no water when the pump goes in to a sulk. Generally one of these things happens just before we have guests round and means one of us wading through a nettle and mosquito infested swamp to look at the spring/tank setup and then spending time in the dark barn praying to the pump gods. In London I just called the plumber.
The final thing I am going to moan about is the dirt. They say the city is dirty and the countryside is clean. Sorry, but the 'they' are wrong. In London the street cleaning fairies come out in the night and remove mud and dirt and all the flats I lived in had nice communal carpet in the hall that wiped any remaining grot of your feet before it entered the house. Before I moved to the countryside I obsessively read lifestyle blogs where people were skipping around wearing lovely flowery wellies and skirts to do their farmyard chores. I find this is not possible in real life, partially due to the afore mentioned flies and partially due to the mud which is everywhere and gets everywhere. In fact I wear a very fetching farming 'onsie' that I have several of allowing for frequent washing.
We don't have time to cover the language barrier, the effort of laying concrete or the snakes.
I can joke about these things now, but when we first moved I found it very stressful. I think I had culture shock from too many changes all at once. I used to lie awake at night and worry that my husband had stopped breathing because I worried he was going to die and leave me alone with this horror. I was very jumpy and loud noises scared me in to screaming, plus I lost weight - without even trying.
If you had asked me a year in whether I had made the right choice I might have struggled to categorically say yes. Now five years in the lows seems less low and the highs stand out more. Finally - part of the reason we moved, was for a more interesting life, so the moral of this story is not 'don't move to the countryside it is scary and rubbish', rather it is 'move to the countryside for a

life like the mountains in my view - with interesting highs and lows, ups and downs, peaks and valleys. 

Toastmasters - Table Topics Master again

I like being Table Topic Master because it means I don't need to do a topic myself and can inflict fun questions on other people. I really enjoy the answers they come up with. In the past I have generally asked questions about people in a nosy kind of way because I enjoy the answers.
However last weekend I happened to have a GREAT idea for next time I did it. Then as luck would have it there was no-one doing it this week so I was asked reasonably last moment to step in.
Fortunate I was a Girl Guide and always prepared...

This is approximately how it went - the topic master always explains why we do table topics first and what people need to do because there can be guests there who are taking part. As the topics master you can do this in any way you want

Why do we do table topics?
There are many situations where it is useful to be able to speak about something coherently on the spur of the moment, both socially and at work.
It is also so that people who don't have a speaking role get to speak and so that guests have a chance to speak and get a taste of the fun.

How do we do them?
You have a minute to a minute and a half to speak on the subject I give you. Green light is 1 minute, amber is 1 min 15 and red 1 min 30. Aim for between the Green and Red light somewhere.

What are my table topics about today?
'The exception that proves the rule' - this is a saying that has been bugging me for year. If there is an exception then the rule is not true, an exception cannot prove a rule. BUT I have finally found a reasonable explanation of its meaning. For example if there is a sign that says 'No parking on Sundays' this shows that parking is allowed other days. So the exception 'No parking on Sundays' proves that there is a rule that parking is allowed other days.

I have some sayings for you. They are more common and comprehensible than this one. You can tell me about what you think it means, why it is rubbish or just something it makes you think of.

• A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link
• A change is as good as a rest
• A good man is hard to find 
• A little knowledge is a dangerous thing
• A miss is as good as a mile
• A picture paints a thousand words
• Actions speak louder than words
• A stitch in time saves nine

People mainly managed to talk coherently for something approaching the full time which for me is an indication that the topics where suitable.

Toastmasters 3 - Get to the point - What's the worst that can happen?

This time of year is competition time at Toastmasters with the International Speech competition and the evaluation competition taking place in each club. Then the winners from the club competitions go on to area competitions etc.
I took part in our evaluation competition - didn't really want to, but was talked in to it and decided it was good experience anyway.
Here is me getting given a certificate for taking part by the competition chair. I think we can say I came last out of five - though only the top three are awarded places - and the winner goes on to the area competition.

For the evaluation competition there needs to be a speaker for people to evaluate, so I went and did a speech for another club called Angel Speakers. There were three evaluators so useful way of getting extra feedback!

This was my third speech in the Competent Communicators manual which is the basis of the training at Toastmasters. There is a photo of this somewhere too - I will add it if I get hold of it...

Each speech in the manual has a goal to teach you something about giving speeches. The goal of this speech is to have a point and to present it clearly.

What's the worst that can happen?

On the one hand - I tend to be cautious, as a child I would never go fast around corners on my bike because I could imagine too vividly what might happen; my face grating along the road. 

On the other hand - I get bored very easily and I believe that as you only live once, so you had better do it right. 

Mr competition chair, fellow toastmasters and guests 

Over the years I have developed a technique to balance these two sides of myself and ensure my overactive imagination is a good thing - having fun ideas - rather than a bad thing - giving me the fear. Because I think that other people are also being held back by a cautions nature, I am planning to make my million writing a self help book. Working title - What's the worst that can happen? A technique for a life less ordinary. 

In my speech tonight I am going to; explain my concept, I'm going to persuade you to try out my 'what's the worst that can happen' technique and finally I'm going to cover how I will work this in to a book. 

The concept is simple, you need to say your fear out loud, to pull it out of your subconscious and make it in to an articulated thing you can consider and conquer. 

I do this by asking my overactive imagination, 'What's the worst that can happen?'. 

The best way to illustrate this is with an example - Let's pretend I haven't yet joined Toastmasters and take the question 'Should I go to Toastmasters?' 

So - (standing center) Should I go to Toastmasters? 

Rhoda - (standing to one side) What's the worst that can happen? 

My over active imagination - (standing to the other side) You stand up in front of everyone and can't come up with anything to say and burst in to tears. 

Now I need to think about this answer. Unfortunately my response to many strong emotions from surprise and happiness to fear and anger is tears that become unstoppable if I try to speak, so this is not totally out of the question. However would it really be that bad? I don't know anyone there and I don't need to see any of them ever again if it is too awful. You can see what the outcome of this was - and I haven't burst in to tears - yet.

Now you understand the basics, how can you try it? 

Just go for it, its simple and it works with all sorts of decisions, big and small. 

The important thing is to let the part answering the question be honest and then consider that answer carefully. Usually it is something that could happen, but if you think about it consciously it is either not very likely or it wouldn't be that bad 

For example: Should my husband and I leave London and move to the French countryside? 

What's the worst that can happen? 

We hate the countryside and fall out and get divorced and I die poor and alone. 

Not very likely 

Should I ski this bit of off piste? 

What's the worst that can happen? 

I break many bones and am left paralyzed from the neck down. 

Not very likely 

Should I tell my boss various things I think he is doing wrong? 

What's the worst that can happen? 

He fires me. 

Not that likely, but anyway if it is that bad being set free to find something better might be a good thing. 

So, I have explained the concept, I have suggested how you can try it, and now, how will I work this in to a book, given that this speech is probably about one side of A4. 

There will be three themes: 

First - More detail on what I have explained today, including how to assess the personalities of your different sides, how to ask the questions and how to get an honest answer. 

Second - Details on the science of how the technique works with research showing it does work and discussion on similar techniques such as stoicism. 

Third - many many MANY more thrilling stories and details from my own life 

Finally 

Feel free to let me know whether 

a) You think this is a fabulous idea for a book and I will certainly make my million 

b) You think this is a rubbish idea 

c) You think I am a nut case and should seek help 

I will leave you with some advice - whether you use this technique or not, if in doubt, do it - and that's the way to have a Life Less Ordinary!

The feedback I got on this was:

• Make better eye contact, sometimes you were staring above the audience.
• Move more freely around the stage you seem a bit frozen
• Don't clasp your hands so much.

From myself - I felt I rushed somewhat in an effort not to forget what I was going to say.

Toastmasters - Evaluation

An important part of how you learn at toastmasters is getting feedback from your fellow members. This means that you have to learn to give evaluations to people.
I did my first evaluation on Monday for someone who has completed the first series of 10 speeches (that I am working through) and has gone on to one of the advanced series. The one she is doing is Storytelling.

ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES

STORYTELLING

Assignment #1:

THE FOLK TALE

Objectives

· To tell a folk tale that is entertaining and enjoyable for a specific age group.

· To use vivid imagery and voice to enhance the tale.

· TIME : 7 to 9 minutes

Note to the Evaluator:

The purpose of this talk was for the speaker to tell, not read, a folk tale. The speaker

should not act out the story, but instead interpret it for the audience, using voice and imagery.

I was given the following advice about how to do an evaluation:

Top tips for evaluation

Have a structure.

C - R - C is good.

Commend 

Start with 2 things you liked. Say what you liked about them and how they supported or impacted the speech/audience.

Recommend

One suggestion for next time. 

Explain what they could do differently or instead. 

Final commend

This can be the thing you liked best about the speech.

Other top tips

1.Do the evaluation in the 3rd person. So instead of saying You did xxxx. Say Angela did xxx.

This can be weird at first to get your head around. Doing it in the 3rd person means everyone else will pay more attention.

2. Avoid but and however. Go for more positives like 'and' or 'next time' Angela could try.

3. When you start your evaluation recap the objectives of the speech. If you can try to evaluate against the objectives. It is helpful too if you can include a bit on delivery skills (eye contact voice or body language)

I cannot say I think I deserved this. I think people just found me quite funny and they always vote for humour. I think someone else did a much better evaluation of a harder to evaluate speech - and they hadn't had pre-warning of what the speech was meant to cover which I had... but still...

Toastmasters - Table Topics Master

I have posted the two speeches I have made which came in the second part of the meeting along with two or three other prepared speeches each time. The first part of each meeting is about impromptu speaking in the form of 'table topics'. The Table Topics Master leads these sessions.

This is the advice I was given by my mentor:

1.       Choose a theme to base your questions around (e.g. travel, hobbies, music etc)

2.       Read the question out first, then pick the speaker.  This makes everyone listen to the question

3.       Choose a few more experienced people to go first.  This gives newer people an idea of what to do.  And with the newer people keep the questions straightforward and do-able.

4.       Give priority to those people not doing speeches or other speaking roles.  

Oh you also will need to do a very short intro as to why being able to speak on the spot is a good skill. 

And this is my introduction and questions:
Introduction (something along the lines of)
The table topics part of the meeting has a number of purposes:

1. It allows members to speak who do not have other speaking roles
2. It gives guests a taste of speaking (you can attend as many times as you like as a guest and do a table topic)
3. It helps us all develop our impromptu speaking skills which can be useful on many occasions  when we have to speak about something unexpectedly.

Personally I find Table Topics quite stressful, but all the more reason to practice them!

My theme is 'getting to know you' as having just joined toastmasters I have spoken twice now about myself and I would like to get to know you all a bit better.

Topics

• What would be your perfect day?
• What did you get in to trouble for most when you were growing up?
• When you think of 'home', what specifically do you think of?
• If you could go back in time and give advice to your 12 year old self what would it be?
• If you could solve any problem, what would it be, and why?
• When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
• What do you have that you couldn't live without?
• What do you like most about yourself?

Everyone always give nice positive feedback which is very encouraging, in this case they liked the topics because people always like talking about themselves and they were relatively easy. It is quite difficult chosing topics as you want it to be challenging but not scary and you need to challenge more experienced people more ideally.

I felt a bit nervous but got going once I had started I think. As everyone who speaks at a meeting gets evaluated I got feedback that I was stepping backwards and forwards while speaking - I was actually aware I was doing it at one point and stopped so that is good as often I am too nervous to be aware what my body is up to.

I have been 'volun-told' (geddit? Not me who made it up...) to do table topics on a Christmas theme for the meeting before Christmas. So any suggestions welcome...

Toastmasters 2 - Organize your speech - Hated it, learnt it, love it.

I was more nervous doing this second speech than the first one. Not quite sure why, perhaps because I was third which was a long wait and perhaps because it was a bit personal about Lorna and I was worried that talking about her can make me cry.
However feedback was that I looked less nervous so just goes to show that what you feel doesn't necessarily come out in what you look like.

The word of the day was frugal which I managed to get in there too. Hurrah!
I lost the train of what I was saying after the bit about liking everything about the yellow dress. But I managed to just pause for a while as I remembered rather than losing the plot all together.

Title - Hated it, learnt it, love it

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had.
And add some extra just for you.
Philip Larkin

Mr Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests

I am going to talk to you about why I hated sewing, how I learnt to love it and why loving it doesn't mean I am turning in to my mum.

Guess which one is me? Yes! The one in yellow! I was 8. We didn't have to wear school uniform, although you can see most people did. My mum made this dress and I loved it, I loved the colour, I loved the little puffy sleeves, I loved everything about it - and felt the green top underneath just set it off nicely. My mum believed in not conforming and thought I should go for the photo wearing something I loved. I hadn't thought about the matter as I wasn't really aware that other people would notice what I wore.
After the hoo-ha caused by the other parents complaining to the school because the photo was ruined and then all the children complaining to me because their parents were upset I decided that conforming was very important. I insisted on school uniform after this and put a lot of effort in to being 'normal' for many years. My parents didn't really cooperate with this program.
Obviously it now seems unreasonable to blame this incident on the fact that my mum had made the dress. But I guess I was only 8 and deeply traumatised. So although I learnt to do many things from my mum, I refused to learn how to sew, as I HATED it!

Then, not long ago my mum decided I needed to learn how to make curtains because she always made them for my various flats, and she was worried what would I do when she was no longer around to make them. After she died, I did make curtains following her instructions, and was gripped with a strange urge to learn how to make clothes. So I did a number of courses making first a bag and a cushion cover then skirts, trousers and a dress.
I really enjoy learning new things and it is even better if it involves gadgets. Everyone seems most bemused at my excitement about my overlocker - that is the special sewing machine that makes the chain stitch kind of thing that you see on the inside of clothes to stop seams fraying. It is AMAZING, I keep showing people the inside of my skirts so they can see and admire this AMAZINGNESS and they just back away like I am a madman saying 'who cares what it looks like on the inside' - or occasionally 'stop pulling up your skirt and showing me your legs - weirdo'.
So I like the sewing machines, but I also like the variety of material, the complication and fun of adjusting patterns and that you have something unique when you are finished. I have learnt to sew and now I love it.

Now, my brother and husband have suggested that enjoying sewing means I am finally turning in to my mum. In many ways turning in to her would not be bad, as she was many good things including brave, funny and clever. But the stereotype of turning in to your mother never seems to be about the good bits and as she got older she had a streak of bitterness and anger at life that I don't want. Having thought about it, my conclusion is that she had to fight harder to be what she wanted to be than I have. Her parents didn't want her to go to university, they wanted her to get married. In the end she got married then went to university and went on to become a proper bra burning feminist. I am very grateful she (and others) did because it has allowed me to take for granted many things that perhaps would have made her more fulfilled, such as studying engineering at university, working in technology and choosing not to have children.
But more than that it has allowed me to have much better relationships with the men in my life (personally, socially and professionally). Feminism as my mum did it, had a big 'all men are bastards' element to it - she said that a lot, while also trying to be less feminine and more masculine. But having grown up in a different time I can be free to believe that men and women are equal, but it is ok if they are different.

So, to conclude, after a slightly rocky start in appreciating sewing, I now get a great deal of satisfaction from it (even if it is not more frugal than buying clothes). It will always make me think of my mum, but I have argued, to my satisfaction at least, that having this and many other things in common with her doesn't mean I will turn in to her. Having led a different life I am free to have my own faults!

I now love this photo for a number of reasons
It reminds me that in the long run it doesn't matter if you do something embarrassing, people forget
It reminds me of all the lovely things my mum made and did for me.
and finally, it reminds me of the lesson that I eventually learnt from my mum. I think Dr Seuss put it perfectly - 'Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.'

Toastmaster Icebreaker - Me, my likes and dislikes

I mentioned a while ago going to Toastmasters. I have now joined and did my first planned speech yesteday. The word of the day was Segue which I did manage to incorporate.

There was a moment just before that I was a bit tempted to do a runner - I popped to the loo and my evaluator looked quite worried when I came back - I think he thought I wasn't coming back.

Title - Me, my likes and dislikes

“A good speech should be like a woman's skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” 

― Winston S. Churchill

Mr Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests (I managed to miss this bit out, having been so excited I managed to remember my quote above - it just would not stick in my mind through it is quite funny)

I'm going to give you the just short enough, just long enough tour or me my likes and dislikes

First a quick history of me - Rhoda Weatherill

I was born and grew up in Scotland in St.Andrews where my parents worked at the University. I was born on the 29th of February, that's a leap year. I have a younger brother who lives in London and who I get on very well with. We didn't have a tv or car when we were growing up. My parents thought playing outside and cycling would be healthier. At the time I wasn't convinced, but now I think they were right!

I then went to University in London to study electrical and electronic engineering at UCL. My husband was on the same course although we didn't really get to know each other until some years later. We got married in Las Vegas on the spur of the moment - we let our parents know by text message. I stayed in London after University working in IT mainly for banks.

Then we moved France, buying a decrepit farm house in the Pyrenees, it is close to a ski area with enough land for horses. I lived there full time for a couple of years and now work in London four days a week while my husband stays in France, renovates the house, and looks after the animals - we have horses, cows, sheep, pigs, quail, rabbits, chickens and a cat and dog.

Now some of my likes:

I like Work. For people who know me this would seem an unlikely like, but having lived for a while in France not working I now have a renewed enthusiasm for the benefits of it - it pays for all my other activities - and the shoes, I like shoes.

I like outdoors activities, I sailed a lot as a child and now ski and horse ride. I enjoy these activities for many reasons, but not least because they can be a bit scary and I find that I need scary things in life otherwise I get bored.

I like making things, or I could call it the 'domestic arts', knitting, sewing and cooking. I find these activities relaxing but mentally challenging enough not to be boring.

And finally some dislikes

I dislike speaking in public. particularly impromptu speaking where I find it hard to organise my thoughts in to words quickly.

I dislike not getting enough sleep, this has to be the biggest part of my wish not to have children.

I dislike celery, spring onion and various of the green garnishes restaurants insist on putting on food

So, I have gone from Scotland to London to France. I like work - for the money, outdoors activities - for the thrills, and the domestic arts - for relaxation. I dislike public speaking, lack of sleep and unnecessary green garnishes

I will leave you with thought from Virgil Thomson (composer)

Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it (that's this speech!). Twice, to learn how to do it (it may take a few more times than that). And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not (I am confident that having joined Toastmasters I can learn, with your help, to like public speaking)

It went very very very well considering how nervous I was. I had a struggle to remember the quote at the beginning, but remembered it 'on the night'. There were two other speakers and the other members vote for the best speaker. I have seen many many who are really really good and much better than me, but these guys were trying more challenging subjects than me and but I got lucky this time! 

Being the first time I probably spent hundreds of times longer preparing than the other people. 

Here is the dog patiently listening to it. Doug wasn't so keen and only got it once.

One of the others (who has done quite a few Toastmaster speeches) went for quite a challenging attempt of comic story telling which didn't quite come off - but I think it is like skiing where they say if you don't fall over you aren't trying hard enough, so if you can't take risks and try things in this environment you won't learn.

You get feedback from an evaluator and the other members give you short written feedback. 

It is a rule that feedback is always very encouraging with positive feedback and things to work on rather than criticism. Previously for impromtu speeches I have been given feedback that I wring my hands and tap dance. So I focused on not doing those things. Now feedback is that I am too fixed in position - but this is a good step I think as I wasn't aware of the hand wringing and dancing and now I can spend some time getting rid of them and some time managing to have spare brain capacity for deliberate movement.

I discovered that a good quote at the beginning makes a massive difference to how you feel going in to the whole speech. V important for the future to remember that. I tried quite a few before picking this one.